Here are 12 thoughts bound to enter women’s brain when
someone enters from behind.
1. My Butt Must Look Fantastic Right Now
There really is no greater angle for your backside. Large,
small, round, or flat—everybody’s shape shines when they’re on all fours.
2. But My B_oobs Have Definitely Seen Better Angles
All lady lumps look like udders when they’re poised for it,
and that’s a fact. Thankfully, nobody’s really getting the full visual on
milking season.
3. Um, How Often Should I Be Turning My Head Back To Look At
Him?
The beauty of this position is the freedom to not lock eyes
– but isn’t the occasional glance appreciated? Oh no! Neck cramp!
4. Please Stick To The Orifice We Agreed On!
‘Cause nobody’s looking to get a p3nis shoved into a hole
that wasn’t prepared for it. Dude, just stay in the designated bone zone,
please.
5. Whelp, That’s Going To Leave A Slobber Mark
Sometimes we find it okay to push our face right into the
pillow, but that also leads to drooling because we’re humans. Just know there’s
going be some serious condensation on these linens post-coital.
6. I Wouldn’t Be Opposed To You Telling Me How Hot I Look
Right Now
We’re vulnerable, we’re being p3netrated, and our @ss is on
full display. Even the tiniest of verbal affirmations would be appreciate
7. You’ve Got To Commit To That Hair Pull
Not all women like their mane yanked while they’re getting
boned from behind. But for the ones who do, he better bring his A-game. The
gentle tug isn’t going to cut it. Grasp it like the expert you probably think
you are, man!
8. His Hands On My Waist Just Took This To Another Level
This speaks for itself. Is there anything cool than a dude
grabbing your waist as he thrusts? Thank you for this novel moment, sir.
9. Whoa, Are You Having Fun Or Channeling Rage?
Dogie can go from amazing to awkward in a millisecond. When
we said harder, we didn’t mean human jack-hammer mode—we’d still like our
things intact after this.
10. Can We Break To Ice My Knees?”
Sure the mattress is better than the floor, but either way
we don’t want to flare up an old high school basketball injury due to an
intense moment sesh. If you want to bust out some actual kneepads, maybe our
stamina could be extended.
11. Hold Up, My Legs Aren’t That Flexible
When we’re on all fours and you want to squish (so to speak)
us down even more, we’re game. But let us gently ease into that R-rated yoga
pose. Nobody’s limbs are made of rubber. So take it easy, Stretch Armstrong.
12. You C@me, Right?
We can’t always tell when we’re not looking at you, but it
sure sounds like you crossed the finish line. And, while it was fun and all, we
can only take so much before we’re ready to stand upright again and have a
snack.
