Why is the world so wicked?a woman wrote to a Counselor seeking
advice on how to go about her predicaments.This is what she wrote and the
responses from readers and the counselor
I have been married for four years and everything was moving on well
until about six months ago when I tested HIV+. I immediately told my husband
and he tested positive too. We agreed to keep this between us and try to live
positively and did not tell anyone including my younger sister who is living
with us. About a month ago she became sickly and after taking several tests we
confirmed she was pregnant. She became hysterical and said that my husband was
responsible for the pregnancy. Now I cannot comprehend how he would do this to
her. I had always thought that she would be the one to take care of my children
should I die of the disease. I am really frustrated now and I keep having
suicidal thoughts. I don’t know what to do. I need your help, please advice…{Sophie}
Your Take:
Take heart for the hurting you are going through. Life is
full of challenges and disappointments. The truth is that she was impregnated
by your husband and now you need to find a way to deal with that. Remain calm
and take care of her.
{Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo}
It is a crime to knowingly infect someone with HIV. First
establish if she is also infected and you may even wait for the baby to be born
to do a paternity test. Committing suicide is not an answer to anything so stop
even thinking about it.
{Andrew Didy Chaplin}
It is not so strange for your younger sister to get pregnant
while under your care. I know what you are feeling right now but relax and seek
advice from a trusted friend or counsellor. Let God guide you on the next step
to take.
{Benson Mwangi}
Sorry for the double tragedy. Your husband and your sister
are not sincere people. You need spiritual, moral, counseling and good medical
support. This is such a hard time for you, may God see you through.
{Onyango Outha Jauduny}
It is traumatising to know your husband has impregnated your
younger sister. Committing suicide is however not the best solution. Remember
that your kids and sister need you more now than ever before. Seek guidance
from a spiritual leader or counsellor. Lastly there’s no load too heavy or too
much pain that God can’t intervene, surrender all to him and you will see a
great difference.
{Edwin Biwott}
This is not the best position ever to be in but take heart
Sophie and confront the two. Killing yourself won’t solve the problem either,
take heart and talk to the right people. Let her safely deliver her kid,
counsel her into positive living, live positively and take care of your
children for as long as God still gives you life. What has happened is water
gone under the bridge and whether you kill yourself for it will not reverse it.
{Tasma Charles}
The most important thing is to have her get tested to know
if she is indeed HIV positive. However, it is important to forgive them both
for what they did and know that HIV is not a death sentence. With the right
diet and proper medication you can all live a normal life.
Counselor’s Take:
Suicide has never solved anything. As a matter of fact, it
only makes things worse for those who are left behind. In addition to dealing
with death, they are then left with the very problem that caused the death in
the first place. If suicidal death solved the underlying problem then it may be
a somewhat viable option but it does not and therefore it should not even be an
option.
For your sister to speak out and point a finger at your
husband, she is sure about what she is talking about and the fact of this
matter is that your husband impregnated her and in the process may have
infected her with HIV.
That is a delicate situation you have there and it can have
serious implications thus it needs to be handled carefully. If she were to test
positive and she establishes that he was aware of his HIV status before
infecting her then this could easily became a bitter law suit that has dire
legal consequences which include 15 years to life in prison (check the HIV and
AIDS Prevention and Control Act, 2006). You don’t want this to go that way so
you may want to handle this matter carefully.
Your sister is going to get tested anyway in the course of
her pre-natal clinics. However, you may want to encourage her to get tested
early so in the event she tests positive then she can be put on special care to
protect the unborn child.
Then thereafter you may get a structured way of also
bringing you and your husband into the picture and thereafter getting a way to
deal with this. This matter will eventually emerge but the earlier it does the
better it is for everyone.
On the other hand, your husband should not go scot free. He
definitely owes her an apology for putting her in this predicament (especially
if she tests positive). However, please take note that he only carries more
guilt and responsibility on this matter as far as the HIV issue is concerned.
She is just as much to blame as he is as they both went behind
your back. As you think of a way of dealing with it, please bear in mind that
they are both to blame as far as the betrayal is concerned.
