I’ve made a list of things you should never, under any
circumstance, tell your man if you want the relationship to survive. We’re not
saying keep things from each other but some things are better left unsaid.
1. Never admit that you hate his mother…even if he badmouths her first
(the Silence Is Golden rule)
It can be tempting to add your two cents as your husband is
telling you yet another story about his controlling, manipulative, buttinsky
mother. Tempting to say, “You think that’s bad? The other day she told me all
of our son’s good qualities come from her! She’s just a delusional, dried-up
old cow who wishes she could be married to you and who resents the hell out of
me just because you love me!” Take a deep breath and hold your tongue.
Remember, he can say whatever he wants, because she’s his mommy. If you agree
too adamantly, bad things will happen to your relationship, not the least of
which is that your husband will never let you forget your slip up and will
preface everything he says about her with that.
2. Never tell him that his best friend made a pass at you…(the No Harm, No Foul rule)
Unless he is a repeated offender never do this. This will
result in a massive fight between the two men and also your husband might start
being suspicious of you. Some men might go as far as suspecting that you
encouraged their friends to make a pass at you. It might end up sounding like
you had an affair.
3. Never confess to past infidelities…(the Don’t Tell, Don’t Tell rule)
Now, girls, I’d hope this goes without saying, but I’ll
mention it anyway. I don’t care if you were 20 and dru_nk at the time; never
admit that you cheated while in a committed relationship. On the subject of
fidelity, you are above reproach. And not being a cheater yourself, you have
zero tolerance for cheaters. But in all seriousness, you have to ask yourself
how the relationship could possibly benefit from your true confessions, and I
think you’ll see the answer is not at all. Doubt can do serious damage.
4. Don’t tell him that one of your girlfriends is cheating on her
husband…(the Keep Your Big Fat Mouth Shut rule)
Just keeping your own past slipups under wraps is not
enough. In general, you must act as though infidelity is equal to murder. You
know it exists, you’ve read about it in the papers, but you certainly don’t
know anyone who has actually committed it. (This won’t always be easy)
5. Don’t say he’s not as hard as he used to be…(the It’s Your Memory
That’s Getting Soft rule)
So your husband doesn’t have the tumescence of a 20-year-old
frat boy. I bet you don’t have the stamina of Venus Williams. I say this not to
make you feel bad about your own aging body but to help you appreciate (or at
least accept) his.
6. Never tell him that it does bother you that you make more money than
he does…(the Being Married to You Is a Full-Time Job rule)
Really ladies, some things are better kept quiet. Is it
necessary? Marriage is collective, everyone brings something to the table
whether emotionally, physically or financially.
