Valentine’s is the day that men are forced to choke down a humble pie and face their greatest fears; it is also the time that air reeks of desperation and hopelessness from women.
Ironically, this most anticipated day by women is the most dreaded day by men. It is no secret that men undergo great mental anguish on Valentine’s Day especially since it goes against everything that supposedly “maketh an African man.”
The horror that an African man has to singlehandedly arrange for a candle lit evening soiree, shop for lush gifts amid the public shame of parading himself with a bouquet of flowers across town to declare their love.
I indulged a friend yesterday and asked him if he was treating his wife this Valentine’s and he said “No, I have no budget for such,” such a stern statement.
He added that, “there is nothing like love, that is confusion,” while I rested my case he went ahead to send me a picture of mops with the quote, “Go on spoil the wife, Valentine’s specials.” To him and many other men, Valentine’s Day is a Western affair. Buying cleaning supplies in his home will suffice as a love gesture.
Love is a luxury that most men prefer to indulge and consume at their own terms not with a gun on their head. This is also the day that men are softly threatened to commit to a woman who you were only “smashing” for the sake of good times by taking it to a whole new level.
It is not just men who have guns pointed to their heads, women are agonising in the fury flames of expectations and taunting rhetorics, “If he doesn’t treat me to a candle lit dinner, what will I post on Instagram or as my WhatsApp status? What will I tell my friends when they ask what my guy did for me? Will I get any flowers?”
Ironically, this most anticipated day by women is the most dreaded day by men. Valentine’s day has overtime lost its meaning and has been commercialised, it has become about getting that Ksh.5.4 million presidential suit at a five star hotel, or Valentine’s in the Maldives to flower vendors ripping big with hiked flower prices.
Sadly, what a man does on February 14, whatever gift he buys, it will forever be used to either judge them harshly or hold them highly.
Women, you do not have to wait for Valentine’s Day to get spoilt silly and equate your love to a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. If he loves you, you will get a share of it occasionally and every other day for hopeless romantics.
